#Slender man movies movie
I begrudgingly was dragged to this movie by a friend who was pissed at me afterward for laughing through the whole thing. There's no fucking way anybody in the right mind would be able to recommend Slender Man, I don't even understand why so many people on IMDB defend it, it's such an awful film. Truth or Dare came out earlier this year and even though that film isn't nearly as bad as this, it's so much funnier. It's not as offensive as The Book of Henry, not as wacky as The Space Between Us, not as boring as All Eyez On Me, not as batshit crazy as Jupiter Ascending, so as far as I'm concerned, Slender Man doesn't even have entertainment value. I could just play Slender: The Eight Pages because that actually manages to do the horror thing properly. Nothing scares you and you won't even be jolted by loud noises. There's no good timing in the whole film and because of it, the film lacks any horror. The sound design is so bad and the editing is so appalling that even the jump scare cues are clearly way, way off. I'll also add that nothing in the film is remotely scary. Disgusting-looking horror films like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre have artistic reasons to look gritty and grungy like they do but Slender Man looks like they turned the contrast down on a Disney Channel original movie. The colour correction is some of the worst I have ever seen in a film, the film looks genuinely hideous and not in a good way. It's impossibly funny watching a girl I forgot the name of turn into a tree at the end of the film because not only is this not established but it looks really cheap and shitty. Even the surreal horror sequences look really, really fake. Slender Man as a CG creation looks terrible, like he was made in Source Filmmaker. The film has some of the worst production I've ever seen. Slender Man neglects all of this because apparently meme-name-value already makes the film great. Even in the worst films I have ever seen, films like The Room, or Uninvited, or Surf Nazis Must Die, or Samurai Cop, there's fleshed-out characters, a real plot and story and meaningful things going on. She didn't watch the video, nor did she partake in any ritual, so why is she afflicted? In case most of this sounds random, it's worth mentioning the film doesn't even have a story, it's a sequence of nonsense. Hallie, another one of the main girls, sees her sister being driven mad by Slender Man, even though this makes no sense. The film ends up revolving around main characters being picked off, even if it makes no sense for this to happen to them. Katie no longer has anything to do with the plot. So, Claire actually has a death scene in the trailer but she's never mentioned again after some characters keep saying shit like "she's ill", or "she has a cold" and making all kinds of other excuses for whatever reason. This is essentially the plot of the film. The three girls blindfold themselves and because Claire, the token black friend, takes her blindfold off out of fear, her friends decide to do this as well even though they were told earlier doing this exposes them to Slender Man, and drives them insane. This involves a completely different summoning ritual for whatever reason, whereby they have to give up something they love. For whatever reason, the red-headed girl Katie disappears and the girls decide to take part in a ritual to bring her back. Slender Man is about how four teenage friends watch a cursed video online, clearly inspiring such classic films as Ringu, which leads to the summoning of Slender Man.
Before I go on, I'm going to outline some things and from this point on, it's just spoilers. Both the main girls "disappear" and are never heard of again after the ten minutes of mentioning they get, shit, an entire love interest character disappears. On top of that, characters literally keep disappearing which makes the film hard to follow. Most of the framing makes no sense you have odd close-up shots where characters having a conversation will be missing parts of their face, even if it's them talking. The whole film is dark and desaturated for no reason, and they even went as far as reducing natural light in daytime scenes so the film looks consistently dark, and making sure to go out of their own way to make night-time sequences really hard to watch because you can't see anything. Let me preface by saying they got nothing in Slender Man right.
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